The Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” is a solid adage. But it’s not applicable in every situation, mostly because not everyone wants to be treated the same.
“The Golden rule can backfire in interpersonal communications, because that person may not want to be treated the same way you do,” says Dr. Tony Alessandra, CEO of Assessments 24×7, who spoke at the opening session of Heavy Duty Aftermarket Week (HDAW) in Las Vegas Tuesday.
Alessandra says its easier to tune in to how a person really feels if you’ll hear what they say, but watch for how they say it.
“People won’t tell you how to treat them,” he says. “They don’t verbalize it, but they’ll show you.”
Alessandra says to listen closely at how people say things and watch their body actions, adding every speaker delivers their message on three channels: verbal, vocal and visual.
“Little things can change what you hear and how you interpret what you hear,” he says.
Basically you’re listening for two things; is the person coming across as more open or guarded?
